Eating Disorders
The college years can be an exciting time of new opportunities
and increased freedom. However, the transition to college
can also present challenges as students adjust to living
away from family, negotiating new relationships and coping
with academic pressures. Another challenge of college
life is assuming more responsibility for eating habits.
For those individuals predisposed to developing an eating
disorder, the stresses of the college environment can
contribute to a troubling sense of a lack of control.
Individuals who develop eating disorders often substitute
internal control of eating and body weight as a way to
deal with feelings of powerlessness over the external
environment. In addition, preoccupation with food and
body image may serve as a distraction from problems and
a way of numbing difficult feelings.
Many college-aged women don’t meet criteria for
an eating disorder but are preoccupied with losing weight
and dissatisfied with their bodies. Up to a third of college
women have “disordered eating” habits, such
as using diet pills or laxatives, not eating at all to
try to lose weight, or binge-eating .
What is an Eating Disorder?
The idealization of thinness has resulted in distorted
body image and unrealistic measures of beauty and success.
Cultural and media influences such as TV, magazines, and
movies reinforce the belief that women should be more
concerned with their appearance than with their own ideas
or achievements.
Research has shown that many normal weight and even underweight
girls are dissatisfied with their body and are choosing
inappropriate behaviors to control their appetite and
food intake.
An eating disorder occurs when the focus of a person’s
everyday life revolves obsessively around food and weight.
Some people try to starve themselves. Others compulsively
overeat, and still others combine bingeing and purging.
Eating disorders often develop as a way to deal with
the conflicts and struggles of life and may be used as
a way to express control when life itself seems out of
control.
Developing and nurturing a positive body image and a
healthy mental attitude is crucial to a woman's happiness
and wellness.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder or concerned
about someone who is and would like to talk to someone,
please contact us at Counseling Services 425-3884.
How do I Help my Friend?
Remember that you cannot force someone to seek help,
change their habits, or adjust their attitudes. You will
make important progress in honestly sharing your concerns,
providing support, and knowing where to go for more information!
People struggling with anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa,
or binge eating disorder do need professional help. There
is help available and there is hope.
Being a friend to someone with an eating disorder can
sometimes be very challenging. It is normal to feel frustrated,
worried and scared for your friend, especially if s/he
isn’t able to admit that there is a serious problem.
Being secretive about eating and exercising is a common
characteristic of an individual with an eating disorder,
and you may feel that you have to watch over your friend
to make sure s/he is taking care of her/himself. The truth
is that you have very limited influence on your friend’s
eating habits, and it is ultimately her/his decision about
what and how s/he eats. This is not to say that you should
give up on or reject your friend who has an eating disorder.
People who have sought treatment for an eating disorder
often emphasize how important the ongoing support of their
friends and family was to their eventual recovery. They
say that having friends who both continued to believe
in them, and also to relate to them beyond just their
eating disorder was crucial in their taking steps toward
health.
Should I say something to my friend?
Perhaps the first thing you may ask yourself if you know
someone who you suspect has an eating disorder is whether
or not you should confront the issue. Ask yourself about
your relationship with that person. If it is someone you
know only casually (e.g. an acquaintance in a class, someone
you see only at the gym) you are probably not the right
person to confront that individual. If you are concerned
about someone who is a friend, however, it is important
to speak to her or him.
Talking to your friend shows that you care enough to
say something, even if your friend has difficulty hearing
or accepting your concern. Remember that denial of any
problem with food is a psychological defense that helps
your friend keep her/his real pain tucked away and out
of conscious awareness. Eating disorders serve the function
of distracting the individual from deeper emotional issues.
An eating disorder is a way of coping, and your friend
may not be ready to relinquish the sense of control, power
or emotional relief that s/he gets from his or her symptoms
(e.g. restricting, binging/ purging, exercising).
It is important not to interpret your friend’s
denial as a personal rejection. Though s/he may resist
your efforts, it is still essential to confront your friend
in a supportive way and offer to assist her/him in getting
help. Ignoring the problem contributes to the secretiveness
and denial that is part of the disorder; this may lead
to serious health consequences. Many people with eating
disorders initially seek treatment not entirely of their
own choosing, but because others have raised the issue
and urged them to seek help.
How to Speak to Your Friend
The following are some tips to consider in confronting
your friend who has an eating disorder:
- Pick a time to talk to your friend when there will
be no distractions or interruptions. Avoid speaking
to her/him about the eating disorder at meal time, or
during an argument. Also avoid confronting your friend
right before a break in the semester, as this prevents
both of you from being able to follow up with a discussion
at a later point.
- Express your concerns directly and sincerely, but
avoid criticism or judgment. Use “I statements”
in which you express your concern about how your friend’s
health and well-being are being affected (e.g. I’m
worried about you, because along with losing weight
you also seem sad lately.”)
- Educate yourself about eating disorders. Realizing
that you can’t solve your friend’s problem,
and understanding that eating disorders are not just
about food will help you to better understand your friend’s
struggle.
- Have available resources for treatment. If s/he is
willing to see a counselor on campus, have the phone
number of the Counseling Center available to call for
an appointment. Offer to accompany her/him to Counseling
Services, but respect his or her privacy if s/he wishes
to go alone.
- Be prepared for her/him to deny that there is a problem,
and/or to become tearful or angry. Know that you are
doing the right thing in talking to your friend, and
tell him or her that you continue to be concerned. Your
words may “plant a seed” which may help
your friend to get treatment even if s/he isn’t
receptive at the time.
- Offer your continued friendship, support and patience.
- Don’t promise to keep secrets about the eating
disorder, or promise not to tell anyone who would assist
your friend in getting treatment.
- Talk to a counselor about your own feelings regarding
the situation.
If you are still worried about your friend or would like
more support in helping her/him, UWRF Counseling Services
is available for consultation about how to handle the
situation. Consultations with the counselors are free
and confidential. Depending on the level of concern, the
counselor might suggest you inform someone (e.g. administrator,
parents) who can take action to directly address the problem.
The counselor will help you to determine what can be done
to help your friend, and is available to provide support
for you as well.
Content Courtesy of University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh
Counseling Center
These Links may also be helpful:
National Eating Disorders (NEDA): Education, resources and support to those affected by eating disorders.
HELPGUIDE.org:
Anorexia Nervosa signs, symptoms, and treatment
HELPGUIDE.org:
Bulimia Nervosa signs, symptoms, and treatment
HELPGUIDE.org:
Binge Eating signs, symptoms, and treatmentl
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